On the road or at home, it doesn’t matter if you’re looking to expand your perception on life. The focus in my personal journey is to discover who I want to be. What are my interests? Where does the energy flow to? What makes me excited to be alive? The more I find out, the more I want to express this to the people around me.
What if you decide to be 100% open on what comes on your path? And on a social level, fully open with your friends and family? What difference does it make to keep things for yourself or to express them openly?
Let’s first discuss keeping a close attitude of mind. This means, for me, not expressing too often your feelings and thoughts, and keeping within your comfort zone. What positive aspects can we recognise? Well I would say it is a very safe way to act. For example, there is very little fear of judgement from other people, being inside your comfort zone is very safe. Next to this, I think these people first think thoroughly before expressing their thoughts (often supported with good arguments). They are not the kind of people that start talking without thinking. Nice! Keeping a close attitude of mind can also help at being a good expert in one’s field. You are not bothered by the ‘additional things’ in life but solely focussed on the think you are good at.
So where are these people getting stuck? I would say quite quickly when it comes to creating strong and meaningful social connections. I experienced this myself. If your are too scared to share your thoughts, feelings, desires, it creates an invisible wall. It creates an energy that unconsciously pushes people away from you. People are not able to look inside your brain. You have to elaborate on it. Only when the inner desire is bigger than the fear, the floodgate will open. It is easy to be too hard for you in this process. The judgement turns inward. I would say that large parts of the closeness is due to very negative judgement of myself. I think many people can relate to this. Often you’re your own worst critic. Sitting with yourself, doing meditation, gives a sneak preview on your thought processes. Only by starting to see this process, one can understand and transform it.
An additional aspect on where people are getting stuck is finding solutions for problems, innovating on new products, etc. If you are never able to create on open mind set, it is difficult to improve and progress in your work. Sometimes radical changes are necessary and can only be initiated outside of the current borders. Openness and exploration can really help in this regard. I experienced this myself with cooking and food. My travel through India, Singapore, and Malaysia, shed new light on what is possible in the kitchen. All new ingredients with vegetables I never heard of, spices I never tasted, and ways of cooking I had never seen before. With this open attitude and deepening yourself in the culture of food, one can gain enormous growth in this particular area of life.
So coming back to closeness in social atmospheres, how does it feel? To me it feels heavy with a strong energy that drags you down. It feels like a burden. So what if you create the openness, talk to people, express yourself? I experienced it myself many times. There is this fear of judgement. It not being the right moment to bring it up. But you know deep down that there will never be a right moment and you have to bite the bullet, face your fears. If you do it, create the openness, quickly the energy transforms into something light. Only by expressing the ‘thing’ in front of you, you’re able to transform it into something beautiful.