How to know what you want in 4 weeks

How to know what you want in 4 weeks

One of the hardest things in life is to make choices. Decisions on the small ones are mostly easy but often drain your energy: what to have for dinner? Should I buy this pair of pants? What to wear today? More difficult ones are: what to do this weekend? Should I go out with this girl? What friends are most important to me. Truly hard ones are so called life questions: what is my purpose on this planet? What is it that I should do with my life? What truly makes me happy? What do I want from life? What is my life journey?

I personally struggle with these questions on and off during the last few years. Especially with the end of my student life approach, these questions pop up. A shift in life means leaving behind your old comfortable way of doing things. Something that you know so well. But it also opens up the opportunity and energy to question every aspect of your life. Here your life questions drop in. You see the possible paths in front of you. Ready to be explored. You only have to choice.

People are spending no time with themselves and thus never understand what they really want in life 


What I’m starting to learn more and more, especially with the meditation classes I’m doing, is that these questions cannot be answered by the mind alone. The mind is incapable of fully comprehend what it is about. A difficult process for me, as my mind is fully trained and well developed by my education. It has the tendency to completely take over and push away the heart, the feeling. So how can you find answers? Answers that come directly from the heart?

Two factors I came across played a large rol for me. Through the deep dive on abundance hosted by Steve Pavlina I came across this podcast from Jess Lively. In the first two episode from season 5 she did one-on-one client sessions. Her approach on ‘solving’ problems was to directly ask questions to the heart. The client had to find the difference between ‘the head’ and ‘the heart’, and this way it is possible to see if the heart or the head was in the lead.

At the same time I watched an interview performed by Brian Ross of LondonReal with Dandapani, a former Hindu monk. On the question “How can people get to know themselves better?”, he answered along the lines of taking the time every morning to be quiet and ask yourself questions. Do this for at least 4 weeks and you will be closer to what you really want.

These two concepts I integrated in my morning routine. I started to play with it. I began by focusing on the breathing. Really making it quiet in your mind. Then I started to ask questions such as “what do I want next?”, “what makes me happy?”, “what does my journey look like?’, “how does my best self look like?”. I let the question float for a bit and then focusing intensely on the heart. The first things that pop up form the answer. Often just one word. Such as this morning. I ask “How do I want to feel?” and the word “open” dropped in and after that “relax”.

I must say, it takes some practise the feel the difference between a heart answer and a mind answer. It is a trial and error process and it is oké to fail sometimes. Personally when heart answers come into play, I feel it. There is a certain energy and joy to them. I encourage you to practise it yourself and see what comes up for you.

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