How often have you looked deep in the eyes of the people around you?
During the many tracks here in Australia it is very common the great each other: “How you doing?” which I still have a hard time replying on. Does the person really want to know what’s up with me? Well, many times it’s just a substitute for ‘hello’ ;). Meeting so many people coming right at you is the perfect moment to try to connect to them. It is very simple and you even don’t have to say anything. Perfect if you don’t feel like talking so much or have no clue what to say ;).
The person is approaching you on the hiking path. While you carefully place your feet on the rocky ground, you start with a smile on your face and look them directly in the eyes. A smile is an essential ingredient as it smoothens the connection. But that is all, nothing more. Really simple. So tell me, what did you notice? What feeling did arise? Comfortable, awkwardness, or nothing?
With a lot of people you can immediately sense their current state of mind. They might be tired which their body language reinforces. They might be having an amazing day full of wonders and you can see that in their open twinkling eyes. If you have to opportunity to start a conversation and connect for a little longer, you might be able to quickly feel how they are in their daily life. Not necessarily by what they say but how they present themselves. It is widely known that about 80% of our communication is through body language. So only a very small percentage is by what we say. Think about this and see for yourself how you present yourself. For me looking in the eyes is the easiest way of judging what a person is up to. Ask somebody to reflect on how they feel like with you. I did this with my sister. She asked me what I could see in her eyes and I gave feedback on how I perceive her with other people. Very helpful to know.
What might be an interesting exercise to do with a friend of loved-one, is to stare for about 2 minutes in each others eyes. After this, share what feelings and thoughts you experienced during the exercise. This is not something we do regularly and you might be surprised about what is happening and its impact.
I have experienced it a few times during meditation workshops and each one was profound. You connect at that moment deeply with another human being. You somehow feel like becoming one. Everything is stripped away just two people staring at each other. It is a very intimate experience and fear is a common thing to experience. I felt completely vulnerable to the other person. That is not easy but in this fear also lies the beauty of it.
Experience it for yourself, the power of the eyes.