Deep layers of hidden pain can surface in intimate connections with loved ones. It seems a side effect of a true soul connection rooted deep in the heart. It rips it completely open, ready to both give and receive the most beautiful and kind love a human is capable of feeling, but it also makes it vulnerable to dark and painful influences. When love is rejected the heart starts to bleed; when things seem to go bad the heart closes instantly with pain; when situations don’t go as planned sorrow and sadness overwhelm the heart.
To me it feels as living with an open heart is potential for either pure love or dreadful pain. I do believe that one cannot exist without the other. You have to know the dark to appreciate the light. Feeling pain means your heart is open and that there is potential to feel deep and honest love. It is actually a great gift and often forgotten, as this world of constant distractions and fear makes it increasingly difficult to stay open and connected to both yourself and others.
Openness of heart means that long-forgotten pains and memories finally have the chance to show themselves. And what a big elephant in the room it can be… For sure both a great gift, as it opens up the ability to heal what wants to be healed, but also an overwhelming portion of strong emotions. The last months I have been going through layers of childhood pain: feeling forgotten, left alone, out of love. These hit at such a deep level that I often question if I will be oke. It requires such deep compassion towards my inner child, towards my current situation, towards other people, reminding myself that it is inside me and is only ‘activated’ by circumstances. It is not anybody’s fault, it just there, to face or not to face, and I am strong enough to feel it through. I remind myself again and again that it is oke to ask for support, that it is oke to let emotions be a free-flowing river, ánd that is a tremendous opportunity for deep inner healing! I should never forget the light and love inside of me.