The perfect moment to listen to the “submersion” audio recordings is of course in the morning train heading to work. A beautiful cold day as the sun slowly rises over the snow covered fields. The train is sprinting along and a mixture of white roof tops of houses are passing by. One thing I suddenly notice on the rooftops of houses is the endless amount of dormers (dakkapellen). I kind of guess this has a strong link with the projects at work ;). Create a configurator for your own dormer right on a web page. Fun stuff!
Ah yes, I was about the write about the first audio fragment of the subjective deep dive. I feel excited to start but also a little anxious. Mostly because I know I have to do some inner work. To start confronting my inner self. The first episode introduces the concepts of a subjective reality and challenges me to answer, as best as I can, these three questions:
- What kind of reality is this?
- What am I?
- What happens when I die?
Really difficult questions to answer. This reality is in my opinion a mixture of physical objects and energy. But I’m not too confident on my explanation. Similarly as what am I: a human being connected through energy of some kind. That is what comes up in a blink of a second. Their is definitely room for exploration. The last answer is influenced by Buddhism. Some kind of reincarnation I find likely after dead.
Weekend, Saturday. Little slow morning but I intended to go through the audio program on my morning walk. Getting out the door I felt a little unease. I had the urge to immediately get my brain activated with the material.
It explained in more detail the two lenses (perspectives) to observe the reality around you: objectively and subjectively. Objectively is seeing this world as matter with weight, texture, and physical presence. The body is biologically created and will fall apart at time of dead. The goal of the objective reality is rather mysterious. It could be to survive, to procreate, or to evolve. All these things I heard before and it made sense. You can not do too extreme things as the consequences are harsh.
The subjective reality lens on the other hand explains that this is dream world. All is simulated around you. The goal is to explore and create whatever is possible. Think bigger is key here!
One aspect hit home for me. Notice what you see in front of you right now. The thing you observe right now is the only object that is ‘rendered’. Think of it like a video game. Their could be vast world stored in memory but not displayed now. The thing is that you will never know what exists and what doesn’t.
It is weird to be silent and really notice you looking out of your eyes. Nobody has your perspective. And a question remains: why is it you that looks out of these eyes? Something I cannot wrap my head around.
Looking at objects with a fresh perspective, with curiosity, opens up the possibility to feel the energy again. I look at my phone. The wooden covered back still in perfect shape. It comfortably curves around the edges. The camera and LED lights protruding out as if a pair of eyes are looking at you. The wear and tear visible on the outside due to the more than four years of use. What a fascinating piece of matter that suddenly looks big in my own hands.
What if your life is a simulation? How would you know? The thing is, you cannot know. You well never know what is true. But lets assume that this world is indeed simulated. Like a game world rendered in sight.
This is a switch in perspective. I look around me. Sitting in the train and looking at the people in front of me. Moving as real humans. They could all be NPC’s with the objective to influence my life. Or not influence my life but serving as background images. That is a weird feeling. The quality and detail of the rendering amazes me. How could this feel so real? How is such detail possible? I look at my hands. Slowly moving it and wiggling with my fingers. Again, the detail is astonishing. I notice the sounds around me. Recorded in such detail.
If this is a simulation, it is me that is the main character…This perspective changes they way I look at it. Everything forms around me. I’m the main character of my story. I feel a kind of separation. Does it feel lonely?
Day 4 – 5
What is your relationship with the simulator? The idea is to “humanise” this abstract concept. To think that a person is influencing events in your life. To me this feels a lot more down to earth. I quite like to think that a human is overseeing the simulation, is pushing some buttons to make my story interesting. I think of this person as somebody who is not too reckless and slowly gives me the opportunity to grown and learn. He doesn’t push that often in a certain direction which makes me believe he is kind and understanding. As with the opportunities in creating Grasshopper tutorials with Michael, the meditation practises at Zen.nl, and the great message from a farm in India to volunteer.
I think he is not easily bored. But at certain points in my life he had enough and, so to say, pushed the red button: “get something done Niels”. I think back on the break-up with my ex-girlfriend or the terrible eye-infection a year ago. They made me do things I already should be doing: enjoy life in a balanced way. The same with other pains in my body. He urges to take care of myself.
Somehow he is also playful and teasing me at moments. A few days ago I lost one of the plugs of my earplugs. Annoying as it is partly usable right now. He is seeing how I react to it. The same with the break down of my bike in Amsterdam. How is Niels going to deal with this situation?